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2003-12-21 - 7:27 p.m.
I can help you down here. That's over in Sex. Are you looking for Elvis? We'll take any checks. The register's ringing, and Judgement is nigh. John Denver is singing ... there's whipped cream in my eye. Sign this right here, and I'll put yours in the bag. It's been like this all day ... I know, what a drag! We can't guarantee that before before Christmas Eve. Be sure to get gift wrap before you go to leave. The air is quite cold, and the line never ends. I choke down a bundt cake and bitch with my friends. Did you see that one lady ... WHAT was her issue? Bitch wants her money back ... here, have a tissue! That creepy guy's back, with the ass torn from his jeans. And the kid in the restroom with the men's magazines. They'll never stop coming, these bastards, these swine. They'll topple my bookshelves and drink all my wine ... that is, if I HAD any wine, or at least some cheap whiskey. Maybe THAT'D let me deal with Stuart Kaminsky. Let me double-bag that ... no need to be nervous. They can help you find that book at Customer Service. Ah, Bill O'Reilly. Yes, I, too, think he's bright. Two fifty's your change, and Merry Christmas, goodnight. 
 
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