2002-06-14 - 1:24 a.m.

101. Catching wind to create a John Woo-style billowing effect.

100. Dazzling your opponents with splendour.

99. Secreting yourself in full camouflage in rain forests and modern art shows.

98. Matching nicely with Grandmas drapes.

97. Attracting butterflies, honeybees, and hummingbirds.

96. Covering the bulge of your holstered .45s

95. Covering the bulge of your upholstered 245 lbs.

94. Wrapping around your fist to break glass.

93. Flares out to confuse gunmen.

92. Concealing the Dimension of Mad Spectrums, into which you can pull evildoers.

91. Straining dirty water.

90. Usable as a dishcloth.

89. Usable as a potholder.

88. Usable to pick up blocks of ice.

87. Can be taken off and used to cart unwieldy armloads.

86. Can be tied ont a stick and made into a colorful bindle.

85. Can be twisted up and wetted to serve as a vicious whip.

84. Impromptu blindfold.

83. Can be buttoned up in an effort to make you look presentable on short notice.

82. Wrapping around the head to serve as a turban.

81. Colorful tourniquet.

80. Can be taken off and tied onto mast as a sail.

79. Pen storage.

78. Gathering dew in the desert night.

77. Netting shrimp (dolphin-safe!).

76. Ready source of thread.

75. Gagging a hostage.

74. Something to bite on when resetting a bone.

73. Keeping something out of the rain while walking.

72. Can be turned backwards for Crazy Backwards Man costume.

71. Smothering a fire.

70. Wrapping up meat to protect it from bears.

69. Pencil storage.

68. Wrapped around bare feet when walking through a room full of broken glass.

67. Easy acess for two-gun mojo.

66. Can be taken off and filled with doorknobs, used as a bludgeon.

65. Silverware cleaning at questionable restaurants.

64. Easy to take off if set on fire.

63. Stores body heat on cool days.

62. Catches breezes on warm days.

61. Keeps T-shirt sleeves and back dry.

60. Great for mounting epaulets.

59. Floppy disk storage.

58. Hard to tell where your heart is when archers are firing at you.

57. Lowers AC by 1.

56. Killer eyeglass polisher.

55. Can be used as a quick way to blow up someones gas tank.

54. Goes with everything.

53. Goes with nothing.

52. Appropriate for all events, from concerts to weddings to state funerals.

51. Makes you look like a native.

50. Makes you look like a tourist.

49. Index card storage.

48. Makes you look like a big fat party animal.

47. Keeping you happy, merry and gay.

46. Flapping to imitate birds, bats, dragons, Rodan, and Batman.

45. Favored accoutrement of luminaries such as Hunter S. Thompson and the Beach Boys.

44. Can be quickly run up the pole and made into an inspiring flag.

43. Symbolizing solidarity with the Hawaiian nationalists.

42. Answering questions.

41. Making you easy to pick out in a crowd.

40. Demonstrating your slavish devotion to Jimmy Buffett.

39. Small animal storage.

38. Wrapping around injured birds.

37. Snake handling.

36. Waving to distract mad bulls.

35. Posing as a marijuana dealer.

34. Shoplifting.

33. Easily shed to foil eyewitness descriptions.

32. Sopping up spills.

31. Hiding foodstains.

30. Wrapping up clothing in while swimming.

29. Pill storage.

28. Sneaking into the movies with 15 pounds of food and no unwieldy backpack.

27. Covering up grievous injuries so as not to alarm loved ones.

26. Smoke signals.

25. Trading with native peoples for medicine, maize, and Manhattan.

24. Blending seamlessly into Mardi Gras.

23. Scaring the squares.

22. Tying around your head to help a dislocated jaw.

21. Gathering up loose change, loose stones, or loose teeth.

20. Emergency oil filter.

19. Chalk storage.

18. Makeshift sling.

17. Spear hurling.

16. Brushing dust and birdlime off ancient inscriptions.

15. Throwing to people who throw you the idol.

14. Feeling groovy.

13. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.

12. Spreads into a tent.

11. Emergency parachute.

10. May be used as a flotation device in the event of a water landing.

9. M&M storage.

8. Tying into a knot of the Thuggeee and strangling infidels.

7. Hurling stones into giants foreheads.

6. Deflects most forms of psychic assault.

5. Blanket.

4. Serving as a towel which you always know the location of.

3. Keeping hors doevures hot.

2. Nothing else matches Hawaiian-print Converse hi-tops.

1. The ladies love it.

*****

[ Previous 5 Sites | Skip Previous | Previous | Next ]

This RingSurf New College Diaryring Net Ring
owned by Wheel! Of! FISH!.

[ Skip Next | Next 5 Sites | Random Site | List Sites ]